Random Thoughts

Grandpa D passed away Saturday, 11/5/11 at 9:00 p.m. I am sad to say the least but happy that he is no longer in pain & that he passed peacefully into Heaven with the whole family surrounding his bed. The funeral is going to be on Wednesday which also happens to be his 75th birthday. :(

Last night I was having a rough time sleeping (hubby is sick & was snoring like a bear!) so I started watching Friends re-runs on Nick @ Nite. It was the episode that Monica & Chandler's babies are born. Needless to say I. Was. A. WRECK. I know I'm sort of overly emotional right now with everything that is going on & usually any TV show that involves babies is enough to get me in tears but them adopting and ending up with *surprise* twins just had me a wreck. I have always felt like I would have twins & while pursing the fertility treatment road that was a very real possibility but not very often does that happen with adoption. (At least I don't think it does, haven't heard of any cases.) I just think how lucky that would be to happen! I know it's just a TV show and they can do whatever they want to get ratings but I was sure excited about the outcome.

As much as Jerry & I want to have our own biological child, I think we are just more interested in being parents regardless of how the children come into the world. We've talked about adopting embryos', adopting infants, adopting older children, domestic adoption, international adoption all the while still discussing IUI, IVF and other fertility treatments. It's a TOUGH decision to make. And I feel like after reading the information on each topic I'm just more confused instead of closer to a decision. So I am hoping that soon we'll find peace with a decision and regardless of the outcome please know that whatever decision we make has not been an easy one. I just wish that it wasn't so hard for us. People get pregnant/adopt every day but for us either one of those things seem like forever away. Everything is just hard.