Mumbled Jumbled mix of emotions.... that's exactly how I feel. I am sad as we continue to wait for Grandpa to be called up to heaven. Doctors are doing the best they can to keep him as comfortable as they can. It's just very hard to sit there and watch him knowing we are completely helpless and that every breath he struggles to take could be his last. I've never been very good at waiting.
I also feel guilty that we have not been over to see Grandma B since we've been at the hospital every night. I've been texting my Aunt for updates but it's still not the same as being there. They say she is hanging in there, just very, very tired. Again, not good with the waiting.
I also feel guilty that since we've been at the hospital all the time my other Grandma who is living with us has been alone. She still needs care and I feel guilty we can't be there.
All this combined with still feeling crampy/sick/dizzy and such things that normally accompany my 3rd week of my cycle & being just generally emotional I feel like I could lose it at possibly any second.
I should feel excited that we get to sign the lease on our house tonight. I should feel happy that I see Dr. M next week for our IUI consultation to get all the meds/appts set up to get back on the road of baby-making after taking 2 years off. I should feel ready to start out on our own again and hopefully with a baby on the way but instead I just feel sad, worried & guilty.
It's hard to balance all the feelings/emotions at once. So for now we just wait, which I've never been very good at.
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