So this post is going to be sort of all over the place, but my brain is currently living in CrazyTown right now so what can ya expect!
* IVF has been postponed until we miraculously win the lottery, become rich or change jobs and get better insurance coverage. Everything went perfectly with the testing and Dr. J was ready to get started but we cannot get the financing. FML.
* We talked Dr. J into letting us do IUI with stims. It's a long shot since I have PCOS plus we're dealing with male factor stuff as well BUT our insurance covers it. So we're willing to try.Also, it's super risky as far as getting a multiple pregnancy. Dr. J kept mentioning the word litter. :-o)
* I'm a little terrified of the IUI. We've already done IUI with Clomid twice with no luck so I'm currently living in between being completely terrified it won't work at all and being completely terrified that we'll end up with 8 babies. Either way... I'm terrified.
* I've talked to Dr. J and let him know that I'm in NO WAY comfortable with selective reduction. I sort of feel like I've been praying/begging for a baby for so long that it would sort of be like punching God in the face and saying no thanks, changed my mind. Plus the procedure that would be done... I could NOT do to a baby. So unless there is like 10 or 12 in there and I will absolutely die or they will all die if I do not do it then it's just simply not an option.
* This whole process is moving a lot slower than I thought. I have to be approved by a Maternal Fetal Specialist before I can proceed (because of that whole risk of multiples thing) and they can't get me in until June 15th. Rational me knows that's less than a month away so big deal right... emotional me knows that because of where I am in my cycle I'm going to have to miss 2 MORE CYCLES before we can even THINK about getting started. Not impressed.
* Relationship is still a work in progress. I think the IF stuff is just wearing on us so much and I never feel like he cares enough and he thinks I care enough for about 30 people. So we're working on it.
* Work is stressing me the F out. I feel like my pile of things to do just keeps growing and growing, no matter how much I do to work on the pile it's not shrinking.
Other than all that, no too much going on in these parts. Just hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait. Story of my life!
