Jerry & I have been going back and forth over and over and over again about whether we should pursue adoption or IVF. We had thought we'd decided to for sure go with adoption but then as we meet with agencies we get so overwhelmed with the entire process that we second guess ourselves & lean more towards IVF. I think the biggest thing that scares the daylights out of us with adoption is the waiting for the adoption to be legally finalized. In the state of IL there is a 6 month waiting period until the adoption is finalized. We have been waiting SO LONG to be parents and we are terrified that we would not be able to fully enjoy being parents for the first 6 months because of having to wait for 6 months for the baby to be "officially ours".
I think the reason this is such a hard thing for us is because we had an adoption agreement fall through. Jerry's cousin was 14 & pregnant and was planning on giving the baby up for adoption. We had talked to her several times and we under the impression things were right on track. Approximately 3 months before she delivered we were informed that she was choosing another family. Needless to say we were crushed. The real kicker is that the "new family" had chosen the exact same name for him that we had (and no we had not shared the name with anyone!). It is very heart-breaking for us to hear how he's doing and knowing that we were SO close and yet so far away at the same time. I think that situation is playing a big part in why we are hesitant about adoption and nervous for the "waiting period".
Things can change in an instant & we know that and we also know that IVF is not by any means guaranteed. It does however come with the knowledge of no waiting period. From the minute of conception the baby is all ours and no waiting for anyone else to make up or change their mind, no hoops to jump through for the courts, just simply ours. And that point is something very hard to ignore. So I guess at this point we are still just stuck.
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