27

Today is my birthday & I am 27 years old!! That seems so crazy to me. I remember dreading turning 25 (I through a legit fit for about 3 months beforehand) and suddenly I'm turning 27 and thinking what in the world happened to 25 & 26?!?!?! It's crazy how quickly life flies by in what seems like an instant.

I remember growing up thinking that I would get married at 22 and have babies at 23, 25 & 26 and be living a perfect little life with my family by 27. I guess it's true if you want to hear God laugh, just tell him your plans. Instead I got married at 19 & sit here at 27, $30,000 in debt from failed fertility treatments & still TRYING to get pregnant with our first child! Never in a million years did I expect to even have to TRY. They tell you in health class in 5th grade that if you don't use protection even ONE TIME you WILL BE PREGNANT! They drill that into students right from the beginning, which is all fine and well since some people do work like that. I however am not one of them.

We stopped using birth control 6 months after we were married and expected to be pregnant immediately. Needless to say we were completely shocked when nothing happened and nothing continued to happen for the next 6.5 years!! That's something they sure don't cover in Health Class. Before our own struggles I myself had never even heard of infertility. I thought you want a baby, no protection and boom you have a baby. Boy did I have a lot to learn.... I had never heard of IUI, IVF, ART nor if I had seen them somewhere would I have even the slightest clue what they meant. I'm not happy that I do but I know that when we do finally become parents I will think it was all worth it. I sure hope that is the case anyway. I do know that God has plans for all of us and I can now appreciate that he knew it was best for us not to get pregnant right away after we got married.... we were only 20 years old, what did we know about raising babies! lol But I hope that now that we are 27 he will decide the time is right.

I am hoping/praying/wishing with all my might that this will be the last birthday I celebrate without being a mommy. I want my husband to buy me cheesy birthday cards & sign them from the kids, or make birthday cards & say they signed it. I just want to be a mommy & be able to make my husband a daddy & that would by far be the best present I could imagine.